Disclaimer: (I wrote this post in February of this year. This was when we were really confused about what God was doing in our lives… it is good to look back and see how God has been teaching me and has provided)
I like to control things… I like to know what is going to happen in my life and I do my best to plan things out days, weeks, months and even years ahead of time.
I know that sounds crazy and motherhood has definitely thrown me for a loop when it comes to control but actually something else has challenged my need for control even more than my little blessings.
Dave lost his job. Yes, it was almost two years ago now but the road God has led us down ever since has been filled with so many circumstances that have been completely out of my control. We moved from Colorado to North Carolina (in with my parents), Dave started a new career and is trying to make it as an operator of a Chick fil A. Dan Cathy says it is harder to get into the CIA than the CFA and he is right. This process has been daunting and eye opening to say the least. It has challenged me, challenged our marriage and challenged my illusion of control.
Dave entered into a job as a manager of a Chick fil A with the hopes of becoming an operator. Lately things have been more uncertain and we don’t know if he will or if it will ever come to fruition. What I do know is that in the past almost two years, since Dave lost his job and we embarked on this journey, God has taught me more about holding things loosely than I have ever learned before. I have learned that no matter your place in life God can change your circumstances overnight and we have to be prepared to let everything go and cling to what is important in life. “To live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21) as long as I am living for Him then I know that life is worthwhile… I also know that He is going to take care of us, no matter what.
We just have to remain in His will and hold loosely the things of this world. I know I am no longer in control… as if I ever was. God is teaching me more and more every day that He will take care of me, that He is in control and that I can relax.
Matthew 6:26 “Look at the birds of the air. They do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”