There have been times in my life where things seemed to fall into place and there have been times when God just didn’t seem to make sense.
I am sure everyone can relate to God not making sense… where is God in the midst of cancer, death, job loss, bankruptcy, depression, divorce… and the list goes on.
I worked as a mental health therapist at a residential treatment center for a few years. During my time I saw more hurt and pain rolled up in adolescent girls than most people do in a lifetime. I heard stories that would put evening dramas and CSI to shame.
The saddest story I heard was from a young girl who was sixteen. Her mother was a crack addict… her father, well who knows… her step father was abusive… her step brother was sexually abusive. She had chronic UTI’s because it wasn’t even safe to go to the bathroom in her house; because when she did her step brother would corner her and sexually abuse her… where is God in that?
Her story has much more sadness involved that I honestly can’t even write out, it hurts my heart for her so much. But, in the midst of all of that horredous pain, the saddest story I heard her tell was this:
She wanted to play basketball. So, she tried out and made the team and was actually good; but she quit. “Why did you quit?” I asked. “I signed up so my mom would come see me play. She never came. No one ever came.” she said.
She played so that someone would watch her games; to show that they cared about her. So that someone would be interested in her. No one came to her games. ever.
Where is God in that? A little girl… an abused little girl… desperate for someone to love her. Desperate for someone to come see her play basketball. Hurting and completely alone.
I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t know. But, I know that He is there… somewhere I can’t see, doing something I don’t understand.
And I do know she isn’t alone. God is there… even though I don’t understand how He is working, He IS there.
That is where I have to release control.
I know there are things that I won’t understand this side of eternity and that is okay; because God knows what He is doing.
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.