Sometimes I really dislike being a girl. Not because of all the “girl” stuff physically we have to endure (although that can be a pain) but mostly because girls sometimes have a hurtful way of doing relationships.
I don’t know how many women can relate to girls being mean starting as young as the age of four. I can even see it now with my three year old… cliques are beginning and they can be extremely hurtful.
The other day I was on Facebook looking at some pictures and I realized that I had been forgotten when several of my friends had planned a play-date. My stomach dropped and I just started to cry. It might have been an emotional time of the month :)… but it was still hurtful.
I had an incredibly hard time falling asleep that evening. I was hurt. I do not think it was because of that specific instance, but because being left out touched a nerve. I remembered when I was in fifth grade and I was not invited to the slumber party, when I would hear about parties that had happened over the weekend when I was in High School… and guess who was not there… me. I remembered conversations where I was the odd man out who did not know the inside jokes.
Being left out is not fun. It is hurtful, whether it is intentional or unintentional.
After I had a good cry and let myself feel the pain of being excluded I decided to turn back to the Truth of what God says about me.
God tells me that I am His child (Galatians 4:7, NIV) I am loved (John 15:9), I am God’s friend (John 15:15, NIV). This gave me the strength to know that I am not a failure because I was excluded… I am included in the Kingdom of God.
I am in a constant state of release. Releasing control… releasing relationships… releasing reputation.
I do not have it all together. God is teaching me that more and more every day.