Monthly Archives: November 2011

Patience

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I have a type A personality… I like to have a plan, consistency, I like to know what is going to happen and that all fits in with control, and I guess I could do another full month on that topic 🙂

But… I think that patience fits in with releasing control SO much.

When I was 20 I worked at a camp called Beyond Malibu. Here I am :):

Beyond Malibu is a Young Life camp… but it isn’t a normal Young Life camp. It is a camp where kids come and go on week long hiking trips through the mountains of British Columbia. We use ice axes, biff bags, tents, backpacks… pack in pack out is the motto! All of the food is with you at the start. Beyond ain’t no RV camping trip, that is for sure.

I worked at base camp mostly doing the office work and laundry for the guides. Base camp consisted of several houses with no electricity, no running water and no toilets. (The kitchen did have a faucet and there was a non-heated shower). I didn’t shave my legs the entire summer if that gives you the idea about how cold the shower actually was.

The people at Beyond are/were incredible… I had never been around such a diverse group in my twenty years. I had the naieve concept that everyone had a plan, stuck to the plan and that life fell into place. It was here that I learned that life is not that clear cut or consistent. Many of the guides were older, the staff ranged in age from college to 50+.

It was here I learned about the seasons of life. I had never put much thought into this concept… that life had seasons. I thought of my life as a series of goals and accomplishments and that everything would run together and work out accordingly.

But, there is a time for everything:

Ecclesiastes 3

 1 There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under the heavens: 2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

The people with whom I had the pleasure of spending that summer taught me that life is full of seasons. They didn’t have things figured out… many of them spent seasons at beyond, seasons at another camp, seasons doing odd jobs: but they were always searching for God’s meaning in those seasons rather than looking at them as holding patterns.

That is the key!

I could have looked at these past two years as a holding pattern. I knew that God was taking us on a journey and I didn’t know what the end result would be. I still don’t know. As we enter into a season of going into the Interim Manager program I am diving in: FULLY.

I am having the patience to know that God has a plan but hopefully the wisdom to know that God is using each season. We could potentially be in another two years of transition. That is scary to me as someone with a type A personality. I want to know the plan, I like consistency. But, God is saying to me: TRUST ME IN THE SEASONS.

Right now I am just praying for patience to wait on the Lord. I am trusting that He has control of our lives and I know that as long as I am fully investing for His kingdom, no matter where we are, that He will bless that.

Thanks for letting me share what has been on my heart.

Oh, and enjoy more of the beauty of Beyond:

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Sibling rivalry…

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Holland has a sweet heart… don’t get me wrong. She is a kind-hearted, precious little girl and I love her deeply. But, she is MEAN to her brother.

This morning I reached my breaking point. She was dressing up in her princess clothes and Hudson wanted to dress up too. He brought me a dress and I put it on him and Holland tried twice to take it off and I told her no. I stepped out of the room to get my camera and when I came back she had him half-way out of the dress with it over his head and he was bent down with his head touching the floor, screaming.

I lost it. I started yelling at her to “STOP!, STOP HITTING, BITING, KICKING, SCRATCHING, PUSHING, SHOVING AND ABUSING YOUR BROTHER!!”

Holland of course was upset that I was yelling at her and it defeated the entire purpose of me making the incident a teaching/disipline moment. I ruinied it… and it got me thinking: How much responsibility do Dave and I hold in Holland and Hudson getting along?

Hudson loves his sister… anywhere she goes, he wants to be… if she is playing dress up, he wants to play. If she is drawing, he wants to draw. If she is jumping on the trampoline, he wants to jump. You get the picture. But, Holland is constantly annoyed with him and is consistently mean to him.

Starting in Genesis 4 siblings had their issues, to put it mildly. This chapter is preceded by Genesis 3: The Fall. Adam and Eve had their own issues, obviously.

But, the most interesting sibling example in the Bible, to me, is Jacob and Esau. In Genesis 25 the boys are together and Esau gives away his birthright for a bowl of stew. This is between them: Jacob manipulated Esau and Esau didn’t really care about his birthright.

BUT… in chapter 26 the parents get involved. Rebekah manipulates the situation for Jacob to recieve the blessing from Isaac instead of Esau.
What happens next: Two nations Judah and Edom were at odds with one another for years and years after that.

The brothers already had enough issues: The parents exaggerated those issues by playing favorites and things got WAY out of hand. (although God said it would be so… the simple point is that the parents contributed to the sibling rivalry)

I think that both of those examples show that the parents do have responsiblity for their chidren’s relationship, at least in part.
If Adam and Eve hadn’t been preoccupied with their own sin and getting kicked out of the garden and all, maybe they could have focused more on their children.
If Rebecca hadn’t manipulated to have her favoirte recieve the blessing maybe two nations wouldn’t have spent years and years bitterly fighting.

I can’t always control how Holland responds to Hudson… but I can control my response. I can be patient with her, kind with her and firm with her. I can show her how she should treat her brother by treating her with the same respect and consistency that I want to see from her: NOT yelling and loosing my temper.

I am consistently seeking wisdom on this subject and I KNOW I don’t have it even close to figured out. But, I think that starting with realizing what my responsibility is in their relationship is a good place.

I cannot show favoritism and I need to treat my children as individuals. I read an excellent post on parenting that talks about how parenting isn’t always fair. You can read it here:
http://www.pensieve.me/2011/11/forget-trying-to-love-your-children-equally.html

I don’t think that treating my children “fairly” is key. But, I think that loving them equally as individuals will help with sibling rivalry. When Holland is being mean, I have to remember that I LOVE her :). I have to remember that she is only three years old. I have to remember that God is teaching me through parenting Holland and Hudson as individuals and as siblings. He is showing me how much it hurts Him when I am unloving to one of His children. I still have a lot to learn but I hope that I am able to internalize these lessons so that it helps me parent my own children and show kindness to others as well.

I’m Back :)…

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I posted my grades for my History of Philosophy/Psychology class this morning and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. The class was incredibly writing intensive towards the end and with over 20 students and over 60 papers to grade in the last two weeks I have been a little overwhelmed. But… I have a break from class until January and I am excited to start writing more and reading some fun books 🙂

If you have any suggestions let me know!

Day 31

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Thank you for going on this journey with me.

Today I was thinking about patience, self-control and release. This verse came to mind:

Proverbs 16:32

Better a patient person than a warrior,
one with self-control than one who takes a city.

Better a patient person… wait on the Lord… release control to Him and your plans will succeed because they will be HIS plans.