On January 30 Hayes started getting a runny nose… I didn’t think much of it, we all have runny noses. Turns out babies with runny noses: Kind of a BIG deal. We took him to the doctor on Jan 31 and turns out he had RSV, not a huge deal, he was doing pretty well so we just got a suction machine and kept a close eye on him. By February 2 he wasn’t eating and that afternoon he literally turned blue. I called Dave panicked, then our neighbors: the Roberts and asked them to come get the kids and drove like a bat out of hell to the emergency room. It was maybe the most panicked I have ever been: ever. This is what he looked like AFTER the resuscitation team came to revive him: so you can only imagine what he looked like before. We spent Saturday night in the hospital and I hoped it wouldn’t be too long: well, I was wrong… we didn’t get released until Tuesday afternoon. I was trapped in the hospital with no visitors because no one under the age of 14 was allowed and we only have the Roberts here who have children. So, I spent Super Bowl Sunday by myself in the hospital and had a lot of time to think, pray and watch TV 🙂
So, during the time we were in the hospital Dave got a call from Chick-fil-A. He had gone to some interviews for a store in Colorado on January 25 and we were waiting to hear back with the next steps. We had been told that Dave was the number one candidate for a specific store and really had our hopes up about it… he didn’t get it… again.
Kind of a crushing blow. on February 3
February 4 he had a conversation with the business consultant that told him he was his number one candidate and his current boss. Another crushing blow: they told him that his interviews are so bad that they don’t instill confidence. Even though his results have been consistently in the top 20% of the chain and he has a great relationship with the business consultant he can’t get past HR and the interview process. We were told that we can look at low volume malls but there aren’t really that many of those available.
So… we are left to make a hard decision. Do we continue with Chick-fil-A and live in Texas or Florida (where the majority of the malls are) or do we chuck the past almost four years and start fresh with another career in Colorado or North Carolina? We need prayer. We need help deciding.
I am obviously a control freak and I over-analyze and I over-communicate and I have been going over and over the possibilities for our future for the past couple of days. Dave is going to Seminar with CFA on Friday and won’t have access to a phone (he will be on a cruise in the bahamas). SO… this timing is actually really good. I am releasing control to him, I want him to decide as the one who has to do a job and will have to put in more years in a low volume mall or will have to potentially start a new career. So, Dave is going to take his time on the ship to pray and seek the Lord about what is next and I am going to fast and pray for him. Then we will do what he decides. I honestly didn’t think that I would leave such a big decision completely in his hands but I have complete faith in my husband. I also have complete faith in the Lord and I trust that Dave will be open to His leading.
This process has been hard: emotionally, spiritually and physically… moving so much, having such a roller coaster to deal with and seeking the Lord and asking: WHAT? I am so confused… it seemed like so many doors were opening and we had such great relationships and they keep on slamming shut one after another.
I just am continuing to seek Him, to seek peace and to release control to him. I am also praying for His glory. We have the health of our family, our marriage is being strengthened by leaps and bounds through this and we are having to have complete blind trust. I can’t research options on the internet because I don’t know what to research… I don’t know where to go from here.
I am thankful for how this is going to shape us and how we will eventually look back on this process but also it is very hard right now. I read this quote yesterday and it was very comforting to me because I have been coming back to the fact that God wants His glory to shine… He wants us to live for His glory and I don’t know that I do that: but I am learning.
“He is doing a thousand things for you and for His glory in your disappointed plans.” -John Piper
I am just praying that God would be glorified and would work through all of the things going on right now to make me less and to bring Him glory.
You know what though he is healthy:
I have the best husband in the world who I have complete confidence in and we have two precious boys and one precious girl who are GIANT blessings. I have so much to be thankful for and I am mostly thankful for my relationship with the Lord and the fact that I know He has a plan for us and will use us for His glory.
I know I kind of poured my heart out there… I just have a lot of raw emotion to process and thought this was a good outlet 🙂