Day 26: Releasing control in the future

A couple of weeks ago Dave and I went to see the movie Corageous. It was an excellent movie… I would encourage you to go see it (just a side note). But, during the movie there is a theme that we are stewards of our families, of our children, of our relationships.

After the movie we had some really good conversation. Dave made the comment that he is not guaranteed any time with Holland or Hudson or me. God is in control.
This got me thinking about being a steward of what God has entrusted us. Being a steward of the time we have, the gifts He has given, the relationships we have…

We can’t be sure that we will be here tomorrow (not to be morbid at all) but it is true. God knows the number of our days… we do not. This life is but a breath. We can’t control how much time we have but we can be stewards of the gifts, relationships and time God has given.

1 Peter 4:9-11
9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 11 If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

 

Day 25: Releasing control with your future mate

This post is written to a younger me… a me who was “waiting” for a spouse… but I wasn’t really waiting. I was manipulating situations so that I could be in control of relationships. I wanted a man who was a leader, of course, but I wanted to be in control of how the relationship progressed at the same time. In college I would put myself in situations to “bump” into guys I was interested in. I would manipulate shamelessly… ask any of my friends in college, it was kind of a joke.

My “type A” would not allow me to release control to let a guy take the lead. So, when I did end up dating I was disappointed with the lack of leadership in relationships… ummm, really; what did I expect?? I was trying to control things and then I was frustrated that I wasn’t dating guys who were leaders.

I think that with me contentment and control went hand in hand. I wasn’t content with who I was apart from having a guy to validate that (whether I was dating or just chasing). It wasn’t really until I ended a two year relationship after graduating college that I had to step back and take a serious look at who I was in Christ and allow myself to be content on my own.

If we aren’t willing to be secure in ourselves another person will never fill that void. It can only be filled through Christ and releasing those insecurities to Him.

So… after over a year of healing and realizing how I was sabotaging relationships I decided to change my strategy and release things to the Lord. If a guy wanted to pursue me, fine, if not, fine. God was in control, not me. My ways had not been working out too well :).

I started Denver Seminary and met Dave. I thought he was cute but other than that didn’t think much about him. After a few weeks of class he asked for my number and I was really excited. But, he didn’t call. This is where the old Dana wanted to step in. I could have manipulated some sort of situation to where I would “bump” into him. Or I could have tried to call him (this was before facebook and texting were popular). But I didn’t.

I realized that if I wanted to date a leader then I would need to let a guy lead. I would have to release that control to God and to him. I had to be content and secure in who I was. So, I decided that if he called, great and if not that was fine too.

Well… two weeks later he called. I still kept my attitude of what will be will be and I really think God blessed that. Dave stepped up as a leader and was intentional and purposeful in our relationship. I never had to question where we were or wonder about a DTR talk. He took the lead. I don’t think the old Dana would have been patient enough to wait for a man like that… but fortunately God did a lot of work on me and allowed me to meet Dave.

Where have you been trying to manipulate to get your way? Is there an area you need to release and just let God work? It may seem like controlling situations works in the short term, but long term it doesn’t… believe me… I tried over and over again.

God will bless our release to Him. Rest in who you are in Him; being confident in that is the most important thing in all of our relationships.

Oh yeah, Dave did end up marrying me and making me the most blessed woman in the world.

Day 24: God controls the lightning

Last verse of my search:
Job 37:15
New International Version (NIV)
15 Do you know how God controls the clouds and makes his lightning flash?

Did you know:
– The average lightning bold is 6-8 miles long and can travel 25 to 40 miles horizontally before turning toward the ground.
– Lightning is lethal within a 60 ft radius

-There were so many facts about clouds that they overwhelmed me and I just couldn’t pick out the most interesting or fascinating ones…. google and you will see what I am talking about.

Last year a tree beside our house was struck by lighting. When it happened our entire house went black and the alarm gave out and the siren wouldn’t stop ringing. It took MONTHS to get everything settled from that strike. It knocked out our power for a full day, killed our cable boxes, blew out almost every televison in the house, our entire security system, the intercom system, the Wii, the sprinklers and killed the tree (which was very old and big).

A strike of lightning on the property did that much damage to our house. Think about if it had actually hit our house!

That is a minute example of God’s power. He could strike the entire earth down in a second if He desired. I think the church today focuses so much on grace and relationship that we sometimes forget God’s Holiness and Power. God is not unable to handle our problems… He is ALL powerful, ALL Holy, ALL knowing.

The beautiful thing is that the God who is all of these things also offers us a relationship with Him. To realize the power He has AND to understand how we can have communion with Him is amazing to me everytime I think about it.

When you are thinking that your problems are too big or too insignificant for God pull the focus back a bit and realize who you are talking about. This is a God who controls the lightning but also a God who cares if the birds are fed (Matthew 6:26).

He cares about you no matter what. He is big enough for us to release control to him and concerned enough that He cares about the day to day of our lives.

 

 

Day 21, 22 and 23

Oops!
I went to visit Dave this weekend while he is at Interim Manager training and ended up not having internet acess… it was amazing, by the way!! We had our first kid-free weekend since Hudson was born thanks to our dear friends, the Lineberrys and my parents… thanks guys!!

But, I do have a great book to suggest…

I listened to Jaycee Dugard’s book “A Stolen Life” on the way down and back to Atlanta. It is incredible. LONG story short: she was abducted as an eleven year old girl and held captive in the backyard of a rapist/kidnapper and his wife for 18 years. She fathered his two children and was controlled by him completely.

She is a phenomenal person. She doesn’t believe in God but you can tell she is searching for something. She talks about the soul and our connections to one another and her perseverance and vulnerablity are amazing.

As a counselor I found this book fascinating… I would definitely recommend. Warning: it is disturbing in parts, so if you do tend to experience secondary trauma I would not suggest reading the first part of the book.

She speaks about forgiveness and the importance of her learning to forgive in order that her anger towards her perpetrator would not control her. Such a biblical principal that we don’t always put into perspective… is there someone you need to forgive today?

Day 21: Self-control and witnessing to others…

The next two verses were both in Titus 2… so I thought I would copy the whole chapter:

Titus 2

Doing Good for the Sake of the Gospel

” 1 You, however, must teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine. 2 Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.

3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

6 Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. 7 In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness 8 and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

9 Teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them, 10 and not to steal from them, but to show that they can be fully trusted, so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive.

11 For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. 12 It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13 while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, 14 who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.

15 These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.”

Another reason why it is important to learn self-control: as a witness to others.

Day 20: Self-control vs. victimhood

2 Peter 1:5-9
“5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.”

You cannot control another person. You cannot control their moods, their actions or reactions. You can try, but you will ultimately fail.

This is where self-control comes in. God wants me to release control of the other person over to Him but He always wants me to maintain self-control in all situations.

This is an incredibly difficult task… especially when you have experience being someone’s punching bag. But, one of the biggest lessons God has been teaching me is releasing relationships and releasing control and expectations in those relationships.

Galatians 5:22-26
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

Both of these verses are terribly convicting. As a self-proclaimed bitterness expert I can tell you that making the choice to not hold a grudge is 100% the Holy Spirit. I cannot do it on my own. Also, to live in peace with those who hurt you… really God, can’t I just ignore them, not be angry and call it a day?

No… God tells me to add goodness, self control, mutual affection etc… to my faith (2 Peter above).

I have a choice in the matter. I can allow bitterness and anger to control me or I can allow the Holy Spirit to control me (self-control). I will be more effective in my walk with the Lord if I release the anger and resentment I have inside.

I have come a long way… believe me… I came from a point where an eating disorder controlled how I lived because I didn’t know another way to cope.

But, God lead me to an amazing counselor who showed me that I could either choose to be a victim of anger/bitterness/others or I could choose to live in freedom and self-control.

I choose freedom and self-control. I have to make that choice every day but I know what it is like on the other side and I don’t want to go back.

Day 19: When is a good time to release control?

Revelation 16:9
 “They were seared by the intense heat and they cursed the name of God, who had control over these plagues, but they refused to repent and glorify him.”

I don’t really understand this verse. In fact, I have done four Bible studies on Revelation and am still very confused. Post-trib, pre-trib, dispensationalist… what? However, as hard as it is to understand, the Lord says we will be blessed by studying this book… so I try.

This verse is in the context of the seven last plagues. God warns against false worship: Rev 14:9, and continues to give chances to those who are consistently sinning. God is a God of mercy but displays that He has come to the end of His allowance for sin in Revelation 15:1. The verse above, Revelation 16:1, is at the end of the probationary period for sinners. God states:

Revelation 22:11
New International Version (NIV)
11 Let the one who does wrong continue to do wrong; let the vile person continue to be vile; let the one who does right continue to do right; and let the holy person continue to be holy.”

This is a strange thing for God to say… considering that in the rest of the Bible He has consistently told us to flee from sin. However, there will come a time when it is too late. There will come a time when I won’t be able to say… I hope I can overcome my bitterness and anger… because I am not promised tomorrow.

Not to be a “dana downer” (I love puns)… but studying Revelation really makes me realize that we are not promised tomorrow… not even close.

God wants us to turn our back on sin today. He wants us to release control to Him today.

My thorn in the flesh is still a process and for me to say that I am able to release control completely today would be a lie. However, studying passages like this make me realize the importance of understanding releasing control to the Lord. The importance of letting the little things go… and the importance of not letting sin have any control over me.

Fortunately, I am covered by His grace and one day the thorns won’t be a problem (I can’t say the same for the people God is addressing in Revelation though). However, I know that this life will be better the more I am made into the image of Christ: that means letting go of the things that are not pleasing to Him.

Day 18: The earth is over whose dominion???

Next verse from the search ☺…

1 John 5:19
 We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one.
1 John 5:18-20 (in Context) 1 John 5 (Whole Chapter)

Okay… so this verse is going to lead into all of the verses about self-control. I mean if the ruler of this earth is Satan, then we are going to need some major self-control. I believe that God is ruler over the universe… over all… but He gives Satan dominion here. Kind of like state vs. federal law: Federal law will always win but sometimes the states are left to deal with things on their own. God allows us free will and has allowed Satan to have control over some things. (Hey… I warned you that I am not a theologian)

But, in some strange way, reading 1 John 5:19 gives me comfort. God doesn’t steak claim to the world… he gave that over. He does claim to have overcome the world through Christ and the Holy Spirit.

1 John 4:4
 You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.

1 John 5:4
 for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.

1 John 5:5
 Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.

John 16:33
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

I struggle with bitterness on a daily basis. I don’t know how to let go of the anger I have. But, I do know that God calls me to be self-controlled… which first means releasing full control to Him.

The next couple of days I am excited to talk about the verses that deal with self-control. I need to hear them… A LOT. I am a work in progress… I am slowly overcoming my anger towards people and towards God. But, God is gracious, faithful, merciful and forgiving. And He is ultimately in control ☺

Again… this picture has nothing to do with my post. Aren’t they cute? One of the few times they aren’t running around like crazy. Candy and ice cream are my friends.

Disclaimer

Just wanted to let you know that I am going to be kind of inductively studying these scriptures for the next couple of days.
While I did graduate from Seminary I do not claim to be a theologian… not even close. I am a bit embarassed about my Bible class grades, actually.
However, that being said, these are my thoughts on the subject. I am studying people who have studied the Greek and Hebrew… but I cannot read Greek and Hebrew, so I am taking their word for it 🙂 and applying these passages to my own life.
Just wanted to throw that out there.

Day 17: God gave control to an evil man??

(This picture doesn’t have anything to do with my post… I just wanted to share my adorable son… isn’t he cute 🙂 )

Okay… so I am going to jump around on the verses a little bit. But, this one has been on my heart and my mind since reading:

Jeremiah 28:14
 “This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: I will put an iron yoke on the necks of all these nations to make them serve Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon, and they will serve him. I will even give him control over the wild animals.’”

Context: Jeremiah was basically crapped on all of his life. He was a prophet of God and God’s people were constantly rejecting him and God. Jeremiah was brining the word of the Lord and no one wanted to hear it. In Jeremiah 28 he is confronting a false prophet. The chapter starts by the false prophet telling the people that the yoke of servitude to Babylon will be broken. But… later on in the 17-verse chapter we have the prophecy of Jeremiah (above).

The false prophet in this chapter wanted to bring good news… he wanted the people to be happy about what he was saying and he spoke lies. He told them they were going to be released from Babylon… because that is obviously what they wanted to hear. Jeremiah tells him in verse 15 “The Lord did not send you! You are making these people trust in a lie!”

Jeremiah brought Jerusalem the news that not only were they not going to be freed from the King of Babylon… they would serve him and he will have complete control over them even to the point of him controlling wild animals.

Why would God give control to someone who is not good? And He gave control over of His own people!

This verse speaks to me that God disciplines those He loves. He allowed Jerusalem to go through the horrible trials He did so that they would be brought back to Him.

He also allowed Jeremiah to go through so much hardship and pain for the sake of presenting Truth. And even through all of that Jeremiah penned these words:
Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.”

I don’t have the strength of Jeremiah. I can’t understand why God allows control to be given over to bad people. But, I do know that God loves me and God has a plan for me. God loves His people and has a plan for them.

Remember…

God disciplines those He loves when we are doing wrong.

Proverbs 3:12
”because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.”

God works for the good for those who love Him.

Romans 8:28
”And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”