Day 16: What does the Bible say?

So… I have talked a lot about releasing control these past couple of weeks and have used scripture some, but not a lot.

So, I thought I would turn to God’s word and see what He says about control. I entered in “God” and “Control” into the search engine on biblegateway.com and this is what it gave me:

1. Job 37:15
   Do you know how God controls the clouds and makes his lightning flash?
   Job 37:14-16 (in Context) Job 37 (Whole Chapter)
2. Jeremiah 28:14
   This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: I will put an iron yoke on the necks of all these nations to make them serve Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon, and they will serve him. I will even give him control over the wild animals.’”
   Jeremiah 28:13-15 (in Context) Jeremiah 28(Whole Chapter)
3. Titus 2:5
   to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word ofGod.
   Titus 2:4-6 (in Context) Titus 2 (Whole Chapter)
4. Titus 2:12
   It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,
   Titus 2:11-13 (in Context) Titus 2 (Whole Chapter)
5. 2 Peter 1:6
   and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance,godliness;
   2 Peter 1:5-7 (in Context) 2 Peter 1 (Whole Chapter)
6. 1 John 5:19
   We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one.
   1 John 5:18-20 (in Context) 1 John 5 (Whole Chapter)
7. Revelation 16:9
   They were seared by the intense heat and they cursed the name of God, who had control over these plagues, but they refused to repent and glorify him.
   Revelation 16:8-10 (in Context) Revelation 16(Whole Chapter)

There are so many different contexts here. Some dealing with God’s dominion over the earth and His control. Some dealing with us being self-controled. Some dealing with Satan being in control of the earth.

How do all of these things fit in with the topic of release. Well, I really want to explore that… so for the next seven days I am going to look at each one of these verses and what they each say about the topic of releasing control.

Day 15: Releasing control when I want to fight

Holland HATES to have her hair washed… so does Hudson. I think it is normal for a three and one year old to prefer to play in the bathtub as opposed to getting clean. But, nevertheless, they have to have their hair washed. Otherwise it would be gross. Even people with dreads have to put soap on there every once in a while.

But, my point is that: Holland fights me. She screams and wiggles around. As a result she has:
Gotten soap in her eyes
Slammed her head against the faucet
Fallen down in the tub
Made her bathtime miserable: all of these on several occasions.

I try and explain to her that if she would sit still, lean her head back and let me wash her it could be quick and fairly pain free.

But, she doesn’t listen. She fights… and as a result usually has a miserable time when it comes to washing her hair.

So, why don’t I learn? Why do I fight so much when it comes to God’s will for me and control over my life.

I don’t like a rule: I break it. I don’t want to be a good steward of my money: so I shop and buy things I don’t need. And the list goes on. These aren’t nessicarily the “big” things either, at least not for the world. But any form of disobedience and attempting to control on our part is big to God.

I mean, He did send His Son to die for all the “things” in our life. So, I don’t think there are big or small acts of disobedience/sin… they are all big to God; because they all separated us from Him.

I have to stop trying to control what is a justifiable sin and what is a big sin. There is no difference to God… sin, is sin, is sin. And God wants ALL of us… not for us to hold to the vices that we simply “can’t” release. He is faithful and will help us to release those sins and overcome them.

1 Corinthians 10:13

New International Version (NIV)

“No temptation^[a] has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted^[b] beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,^[c] he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

Day 14: Releasing control in the everyday

Sometimes I feel like I have to “DO” all the time. You know… have the laundry all done, make sure the kids are doing what they are supposed to be doing, keep up with everything up to the minute. Sometimes I fail to stop and enjoy the little joys that God allows us to experience. I once heard someone say that all joy on earth is simply a glimpse of God. We are allowed to experience joy because God lets us.

So, not every day, but on some days… just let it go:

Forget the laundry …

Take a walk in the rain …

Let your kids make cookies on a Wednesday morning …

Sit and read a good book …

Eat ice cream for no reason …

Spend time with the Lord and let yourself sit… as long as you feel led… just rest in His grace.

He is in control anyway.

Day Thirteen: Releasing control in Friendships

 

Sometimes I really dislike being a girl. Not because of all the “girl” stuff physically we have to endure (although that can be a pain) but mostly because girls sometimes have a hurtful way of doing relationships.

I don’t know how many women can relate to girls being mean starting as young as the age of four. I can even see it now with my three year old… cliques are beginning and they can be extremely hurtful.

The other day I was on Facebook looking at some pictures and I realized that I had been forgotten when several of my friends had planned a play-date. My stomach dropped and I just started to cry. It might have been an emotional time of the month :)… but it was still hurtful.

I had an incredibly hard time falling asleep that evening. I was hurt. I do not think it was because of that specific instance, but because being left out touched a nerve. I remembered when I was in fifth grade and I was not invited to the slumber party, when I would hear about parties that had happened over the weekend when I was in High School… and guess who was not there… me. I remembered conversations where I was the odd man out who did not know the inside jokes.

Being left out is not fun. It is hurtful, whether it is intentional or unintentional.

After I had a good cry and let myself feel the pain of being excluded I decided to turn back to the Truth of what God says about me.

God tells me that I am His child (Galatians 4:7, NIV) I am loved (John 15:9), I am God’s friend (John 15:15, NIV). This gave me the strength to know that I am not a failure because I was excluded… I am included in the Kingdom of God.

I am in a constant state of release. Releasing control… releasing relationships… releasing reputation.

I do not have it all together. God is teaching me that more and more every day.

Day Twelve: releasing control when I am impatient…

Sometimes I yell… sometimes I loose my cool.

I think most mothers can relate with their children throwing a fit right before you are heading out the door, or when they have a potty accident on the way to your destination and you forgot an extra pair of pants, or when they decide to have a temper tantrum in the middle of the drug store isle because they think nyquil is juice and they want to drink it… 🙂

As hard as I try to have patience, sometimes I loose my cool. I yell, I become frustrated and I can say things in moments of frustration that I wish I could take back.

Fortunately I know that love covers a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.”

Holland has started doing this thing where she is sitting in her chair and she looks at me and says, “stay right there… I need to hug you.” She will jump down and come over and squeeze me tightly and give me a kiss. It is the most precious thing in the world and it usually doesn’t matter if I have yelled at her that day or not. She does it regardless.

God gives me grace in the midst of my impatience. I know this doesn’t have a lot to do with releasing control… but it does have to do with giving my attitude over to him in the moments of frustration. And even when I screw it up He is there to cover me with His grace.

Day Eleven: Releasing control when things don’t work out…

There have been times in my life where things seemed to fall into place and there have been times when God just didn’t seem to make sense.

I am sure everyone can relate to God not making sense… where is God in the midst of cancer, death, job loss, bankruptcy, depression, divorce… and the list goes on.

I worked as a mental health therapist at a residential treatment center for a few years. During my time I saw more hurt and pain rolled up in adolescent girls than most people do in a lifetime. I heard stories that would put evening dramas and CSI to shame.

The saddest story I heard was from a young girl who was sixteen. Her mother was a crack addict… her father, well who knows… her step father was abusive… her step brother was sexually abusive. She had chronic UTI’s because it wasn’t even safe to go to the bathroom in her house; because when she did her step brother would corner her and sexually abuse her… where is God in that?

Her story has much more sadness involved that I honestly can’t even write out, it hurts my heart for her so much. But, in the midst of all of that horredous pain, the saddest story I heard her tell was this:

She wanted to play basketball. So, she tried out and made the team and was actually good; but she quit. “Why did you quit?” I asked. “I signed up so my mom would come see me play. She never came. No one ever came.” she said.

She played so that someone would watch her games; to show that they cared about her. So that someone would be interested in her. No one came to her games. ever.

Where is God in that? A little girl… an abused little girl… desperate for someone to love her. Desperate for someone to come see her play basketball. Hurting and completely alone.

I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t know. But, I know that He is there… somewhere I can’t see, doing something I don’t understand.

And I do know she isn’t alone. God is there… even though I don’t understand how He is working, He IS there.

That is where I have to release control.

I know there are things that I won’t understand this side of eternity and that is okay; because God knows what He is doing.

Isaiah 55:8-9

⁸ “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Day Ten: Releasing control in the obvious

“Which hand mama??” Holland enthusiastically asked me to choose where the marker cap was located: left or right. The cap was sticking out of her right hand, so I of course chose the left. 🙂 She smiled and held out her empty hand for me to see that I had guessed incorrectly. She loves that game.

After she put the marker cap down and ran to play I was thinking about how often I know God’s will and I choose to follow my own path instead. My youth pastor growing up used to say that God’s will is not a mysterious, cosmic question mark. God’s will is laid out for us in his word… He wants us to obey His commands and He will bless that. But, I hem and haw over decisions when God, a lot of times, has made the choice as obvious as a marker cap sticking out of His right hand.

He just wants me to follow His word. But I want to choose my own way. I want to go with the hand on the left. Releasing the obvious to God can sometimes be the hardest things to release.

The past three days I have written about our journey with Chick-fil-A. God obviously opened the doors for us to pursue this career. It would be easier to stay in Greensboro, surrounded by my family… there were a lot of times over the past two years where it seemed that pursuing something else would have been easier; more comfortable. But, sometimes God isn’t telling us to stay in our comfort zone. Sometimes, most of the time, the things God calls us to aren’t the easy things. They are the hard things… but those hard things will ultimately reap the greatest reward.

Day Nine: looking back again… seeing God’s provision

Disclaimer: (I wrote this about a month ago so that I could remember how I felt in the midst of Dave’s interview process)

No matter how hard I attempt to control certain aspects of my life some things remain uncontrollable.

Our situation these past two years has been that… uncontrollable.

We recently found out that Dave has an interview for a position he has been working towards for the past two years. However, he did not have a flight scheduled for that interview even though it had been three weeks since corporate informed us that he was going down to Atlanta.

So, I started to worry… what if they have decided not to give him an interview? What if they decided he wasn’t the right person for the job? What if he received a bad recommendation and they decided they didn’t want him for the position?

So, last night I worried… this morning I worried… I tried to release it to God… but then I worried.

And then, just a few minutes ago, I received an email from Dave with his flight confirmation. And relief.

Then I remember how I have no control, and why did I worry, and what can I learn through this.
God is teaching me so much through this process of the uncontrollable. It is funny because I can imagine Him looking at me saying, trust, please just trust. And I am running around worrying and trying to think of ways we will work things out if Dave doesn’t get this job and God is saying… TRUST.

I don’t know what the future holds. He may still not get the job. But, every time I have experiences like this it makes me realize my lack of reliance on the Lord. I am learning to trust, I am learning to lean into His promises and release control to Him… I mean, He is in control anyway. 🙂

Day Eight: Looking back: my ebenezer

Disclaimer: (I wrote this post in February of this year. This was when we were really confused about what God was doing in our lives… it is good to look back and see how God has been teaching me and has provided)

I like to control things… I like to know what is going to happen in my life and I do my best to plan things out days, weeks, months and even years ahead of time.

I know that sounds crazy and motherhood has definitely thrown me for a loop when it comes to control but actually something else has challenged my need for control even more than my little blessings.

Dave lost his job. Yes, it was almost two years ago now but the road God has led us down ever since has been filled with so many circumstances that have been completely out of my control. We moved from Colorado to North Carolina (in with my parents), Dave started a new career and is trying to make it as an operator of a Chick fil A. Dan Cathy says it is harder to get into the CIA than the CFA and he is right. This process has been daunting and eye opening to say the least. It has challenged me, challenged our marriage and challenged my illusion of control.

Dave entered into a job as a manager of a Chick fil A with the hopes of becoming an operator. Lately things have been more uncertain and we don’t know if he will or if it will ever come to fruition. What I do know is that in the past almost two years, since Dave lost his job and we embarked on this journey, God has taught me more about holding things loosely than I have ever learned before. I have learned that no matter your place in life God can change your circumstances overnight and we have to be prepared to let everything go and cling to what is important in life. “To live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21) as long as I am living for Him then I know that life is worthwhile… I also know that He is going to take care of us, no matter what.

We just have to remain in His will and hold loosely the things of this world. I know I am no longer in control… as if I ever was. God is teaching me more and more every day that He will take care of me, that He is in control and that I can relax.

Matthew 6:26 “Look at the birds of the air. They do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”

Day Seven: Releasing control when things do work out…

On September 23, 2011 we found out that Dave got the position he has been working towards since July of 2009. We had spent so much time praying, worrying, turning things over to God… then grasping them back… then turning them over again :).

The past two years have been a rollercoaster, to say the least. There have been times we wanted to quit… to throw in the towel on what we knew God was asking us to do. We felt so strongly that Chick fil A was the place He had put us, but the journey seemed so difficult at times… how could THIS be His plan??

We found out that Dave got a job as an interim manager with Chick fil A. This means that we still have a way to go before he has his own store, but it is a step (a big step) in the right direction.

The temptation when things do work out is to take control back into my hands. I can start to think that I did something that caused things to go in our favor. It was all about how hard Dave worked, or how I helped prepare him for his interview. I start thinking of ways to take the credit. Isn’t it funny how we work? We pray for God to help us and then when things go our way we forget who got us to where we are.

I am going to publish some posts in the next couple of days that I wrote before we found out that Dave got the position as an interim manager.

The other day I heard a woman talking about how she has an ebenezer book. It is a book where she writes down every time God answers a prayer. She opens it and remembers His faithfulness. The same way Samuel remembered the Lord’s provision in 1 Samuel 7:12

¹² Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer,^[b] saying, “Thus far the LORD has helped us.”

These next couple of posts are my ebenezers. I want to always remember who gets the credit when things do work out.